A Young Woman Is Tired of Her Roommate’s Boyfriend Constantly Visiting and She Wants to Put an End to It Now

A woman recently asked if she’s being unfair for asking her roommates to stop having her boyfriend over all the time. Here’s what she had to say.

The Living Situation

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This woman shares her apartment with two of her girlfriends, Alice and Janet.

One of Them Has a Boyfriend

She Mirrors Your Movements
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Janet has a long-distance boyfriend called Josh. Josh doesn’t often visit, as he’s a 45-minute flight away. But when he does, Josh stays for a long time. On some visits, he’s at the apartment for eight days in a row. 

He Doesn’t Talk a Lot

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Josh doesn’t interact much with the woman or her other friend, making things a bit weird. For them, it’s like having a 4th roommate they never agreed to.

The Couple Is Always Quite Loud

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Plus, Josh and Janet are very loud and spend most of the time lounging around the house, cooking loudly in the kitchen, and listening to the TV at full volume. Josh also has a habit of taking work calls in the living room with no headphones on.

Alice Has Asked Them to Turn It Down

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Alice, whose room is closest to the common areas, has asked them to keep the noise down several times. But neither Josh nor Janet pays her much attention.

The woman’s bedroom shares a wall with Janet’s room, creating all sorts of problems during Josh’s extended visits.

She Can Hear Everything They Do

Their Bad Relationship
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“Our doors are literally right next to each other,” explained the woman. “This means that, even with our doors closed, I can hear absolutely everything, from their Netflix to their talking, to them being intimate.”

“It’s genuinely traumatizing (I’m being dramatic, but it really does suck).” 

She Feels Uncomfortable in Her Own Home

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She also has to pass Janet’s room after a shower when she’s coming from the bathroom. She doesn’t feel comfortable doing it in just a towel when Josh is about. So she has to get fully dressed in the bathroom every time.

The Girls Decided to Speak to Janet

The Awkward Silence Appreciator
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Having Josh around for so long was frustrating for the woman and Alice. So they decided to bring up the subject with Janet.

They explained how they were uncomfortable with Josh being around so much. They asked if Josh could visit more often but limit the overnight stays to 2-3 days each month.

Janet Refused

Saying No 
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Janet said the trip wouldn’t be worth it for her or Josh and that they’d promised to see each other every month. 

Alice suggested that Janet could visit him or that they could visit other places together. Again, Janet said this wouldn’t work, insisting she couldn’t afford it (neither of the roommates believed her. In fact, they know she has more than enough cash!)

Janet Got Angry

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The two friends suggested other options, such as staying in a hotel or Airbnb. But Janet refused them all. Then she dropped the conversation and went off into a huff, slamming cupboards and doors for the next few days.

They’re Still Arguing About It

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The situation is still unresolved, and the three friends are nowhere near finding a compromise that works for everyone. And it’s left the woman feeling guilty for even bringing the subject up.

It’s Causing Real Problems

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She knows Janet wants to spend time with her boyfriend, which is natural, but his lengthy stays create problems and tension in the apartment. Now the woman and Alice feel anxious every time Janet announces that Josh is coming to stay.

Is She Being Unreasonable?

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The woman reached out to the internet and asked if she was wrong for asking Janet to limit her boyfriend’s visits.

People Responded

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One user said, “NTA. You didn’t sign up to live with someone’s boyfriend for 25% of the time.”

Another said, “Also, he should pay for his portion of the rent as well. I will assume he uses water, electricity, and household equipment (tv, pots, and pans…) If your roommate doesn’t agree, maybe it is time for the happy couple to arrange a more permanent accommodation for the two of them.”

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Source: Reddit

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