Men, Masculinity, and Missteps: 20 Foolish Things Men Mistakenly Tie to Their Manhood

Many activities, products, and habits have traditionally been associated with either men or women. In a recent online survey, people were asked about the most foolish things men link to their masculinity. Here are the top 20 responses that stood out.

No Sunscreen

No Sunscreen
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“I can’t count the number of times other men seem shocked I’m wearing it.”

“As an Aussie, I don’t think of it as skincare. It’s in the same category as a helmet.”

“My white coworker asked why his face was so red. I told him to wear sunscreen and moisturize. He asked if he could get a deep chemical peel every year to prevent skin cancer. He doesn’t want his wife to know he uses skincare products.”

Not Wearing Hearing Aids

Not Wearing Hearing Aids
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“My grandpa was nervous about his hearing aids being too feminine. Is it gay to be able to HEAR?”

“This is my grandpa. He has hearing loss and is constantly shouting and asking people to repeat themselves. His TV’s always blasting out at max volume. It would be so much easier if he just wore a hearing aid, but he refuses to.”

Saying ‘Drinks’

Saying _Drinks_
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“I got called gay because saying ‘drinks’ instead of ‘drink’ wasn’t masculine enough.”

“What…? Has it been decided that plural nouns are gay all of a sudden…?”

“Right. Because all communication more complicated than just pointing and grunting is at least bisexual.”

“Wait? Are plurals now gay? All plurals?!”

Avoiding The Doctor

Avoiding The Doctor
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“I’m in medical school, and one of our docs told us there are only two reasons men ever go to the doctor: their wife told them to, or there’s something wrong ‘down there’.”

“Had a patient end up with terminal testicular cancer because he noted a lump but left it until his legs stopped working and the cancer was in his spinal cord, kidneys, liver, lungs, and bones. Left three children under the age of 5 and a wife.”

No Hearing Protection

No Hearing Protection
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“My grandpa didn’t wear hearing protection when flying helicopters. Guess who was extremely deaf by the time I was a kid?”

“And here I am, working on helicopters, and have always been super vigilant about hearing protection (most of the time using double protection), and still, I’m starting to have hearing loss at 40. Can’t imagine how bad it’d be without protection.”

Overly-firm Handshakes

Overly-firm Handshakes
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“Stop trying to crush my hand when handshaking. There is a difference between a greeting and assault.”

“Had an uncle who was like the family patriarch who would do that to all the kids and sort of rolled the bones in our hands around a bit which really hurt. When he got old and frail, I made sure to do it right back to him. He didn’t like it.”

Wrestling Wild Animals

Wrestling Wild Animals
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“I recall a local once fighting a crocodile for a girl’s number. He lost, but the girl still agreed to a date.”

“What exactly does it entail to lose a fight to a crocodile? Aside from dying, which he apparently didn’t do. Unless the date was his funeral.”

“Why would she date a guy who lost? Should have dated the crocodile.”

Poor Personal Hygiene

Poor Personal Hygiene
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“There was a guy who didn’t wash his behind because it ‘would be gay’ to touch his own. Imagine sexuality so frail that you have to smell like poop all the time.”

“From my experience, I can tell you that there are many men that don’t wash their hands after a bathroom visit. And then I need to touch the same doorknob.”

Never Being The Victim

Never Being The Victim
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“I volunteered for a crisis hotline, and many men called to simply talk because they didn’t have anyone to turn to because they were the ‘manly man’ in their group, and no one would think that they could be abused or raped.”

“So many of my male friends have opened up to me about their babysitters. One was bragging about having sex with their 16 y/o babysitter when they were 10. Honey, no!”

Getting No Sleep

Getting No Sleep
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“I often have issues going to sleep. I tell people this. A lot of the time, I have a guy call me a baby because he purposely stayed up late to play video games or hit the town. I didn’t realize being well rested wasn’t masculine.”

“I had a boss who bragged about sleeping less than 4 hours a night since his twenties. He had a lump of face cancer the size of a baseball that killed him at 66.”

Incompetent Parenting

Incompetent Parenting
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“So you have four kids, and you’ve never changed a diaper? That’s not a flex, dude.”

“I have six kids. I can change three diapers at the same time.”

“When other men say that to me, I can’t help but feel bad for their wives.”

“It’s perceived as a brag to other men to have a wife who is subservient while he provides.”

Getting Rained On

Getting Rained On
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“My dad will claim he doesn’t need an umbrella because ‘real men’ don’t need them.”

“The number of times my brother refused an umbrella when he was younger… it’s ridiculous. Having balls does not protect you from the rain.”

“I do that, and it’s just because I hate umbrellas. I hate holding stuff. Just get me wet and pathetic; I’ll manage.”

No Seatbelts

No Seatbelts
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“The seatbelt one makes me crazy! I know older guys that refuse to wear one because no one’s going to tell them what to do. They’re old enough to know better.”

“I am a reformed man. I now wear seatbelts and sunscreen. In my defense, I never had a mom in my life, so it took a girlfriend to make me realize.”

“Can confirm seatbelt is important, from experience.”

Certain Colors

Certain Colors
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“I got myself a mint-colored hoodie, and my mother asked me if it was really male clothing. Sorry for not picking boring old black, grey, dark blue, or brown.”

“My brother and I (a woman) did that professional color-matching test. Turns out he looks awesome in fuchsia, mint, cool pink, and bright blue. And I, in brown, deep red, black. He’s since embraced all the pinks, and the dude looks amazing.”

Being Loud

Being Loud
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“Men think adding volume helps their masculinity and dominance. But there’s nothing more threatening looking than my 5’7 male boss walking in Stealth Mode with a crowbar to go get something unstuck from a machine. He’s more intimidating in those moments than any man who has ever yelled in my presence.”

“It’s fine to be naturally loud by default. I just hate it when men try to use loudness as a macho intimidation tactic.”

Truck Nuts

Truck Nuts - Ceri Breeze _ Shutterstock.com
Photo Credit: Ceri Breeze _ Shutterstock.com.

“You know what’s manly? Maximizing the number of balls that you see on a daily basis.”

“I thought those were just goofy decorations. I didn’t know they were unironic.”

“I see those a lot. My husband and I laugh because they come in every size and color.”

Tactical Baby Gear

Tactical Baby Gear
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“That’s kind of genius by the company that makes them. The masculine-looking bags/carriers are double or triple the normal price. It’s like a masculinity tax.”

“I like the concept. You get to have the fun of being a ninja while also being a good dad.”

“I’m not implying they’re a bad parent. They are just willing to spend more on an accessory for a baby because it looks more manly when cheaper options exist.”

A Strong Urine Stream

A Strong Urine Stream
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“How else can men tell who has the cleanest toilet?

“How can it be manly when women have us all beat? I don’t know how they do it, but listen next time you and your girl go camping. It’s like a power washer.”

No Dustmasks

No Dustmasks
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

“I worked in a limestone mill. There was limestone dust in the air constantly. I can’t count the number of times someone said, “Nice mask, idiot” Alright, man, silicosis is pretty manly, I guess.”

“We’ve had silicosis figured out since the 1930s, but still, trying not to get it apparently still makes you a baby.”

Unnecessary Trucks

Unnecessary Trucks - adolf martinez soler _ Shutterstock.com
Photo Credit: adolf martinez soler _ Shutterstock.com.

“These are always known as Pavement Princesses around me. They are never dirty and always parked at the mall – never a worksite or anywhere they MIGHT be used.”

“I instantly question the level of testosterone in owners of these abominations.”

“It’s always funny to see SUVs covered in mud pull up next to a huge diesel monstrosity twice its height on huge knobby tires that’s perfectly clean and hasn’t even seen dirt.”

MORE FROM DAILY SNIPPETZ

Photo Credit: Cast-Of-Thousands/Shutterstock.

A woman recently asked the Reddit community if she was wrong for sending a friend back home from a hiking trip after she lied about her experience:

A Mom Wants to Stop Her Son from Going on A Family Vacation, and The Dad Says She’s Punishing Him

Photo Credit: Marina Kliets/Shutterstock.

Her Mother-In-Law Secretly Made Changes to Her Wedding Dress and Now She’s Had Enough of Her Meddling

Photo Credit: Master1305/Shutterstock.

A woman in the midst of wedding planning recently became frustrated with her controlling mother-in-law’s constant meddling. Now she wants to set some boundaries:

Her Mother-In-Law Secretly Made Changes to Her Wedding Dress and Now She’s Had Enough of Her Meddling

His Upstairs Neighbor Refused to Turn Down His TV so He Found a Clever Way to Get Revenge

Photo Credit: Creative House/Shutterstock.

A man recently told the story of how he got sweet revenge on his upstairs neighbor. The rude neighbor wouldn’t turn down his TV so the man came up with a clever way to get him evicted:

A Woman Scolded a Restaurant for Serving ‘Raw’ Shrimp Because She Thought That Only Breaded Shrimp Was Cooked

Racking A Shotgun
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

A woman recently went to a restaurant with a woman who believed that only breaded shrimp was cooked and that their ‘raw’ grilled shrimp would make them sick: