He and His Wife Agreed She Would Be a Stay-at-Home Mom, but When She Began Taking Part-Time Work, He Demanded She Start Contributing to the Bills

A man recently went online to ask the internet if he’d been wrong to ask his wife to start paying a proportion of the household bills now that she was working again. Here’s what he had to say.

They had long agreed

You’re A ‘Boy Mom’ _ ‘Girl Mom’
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“My wife is Russian and came to America as a student,” the man began. “She has an Ivy degree in physics. When we married, we decided that she would be a stay-at-home mother. We have a daughter who is now five years old.”

Money wasn’t an issue

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“Our arrangement was that I gave her an allowance to buy anything she wanted for herself, and then I paid for other expenses that we both agreed on. I make around $180,000 per year, more than enough for all of us. I gave her an allowance of around $100-$135 per month.”

She wanted more

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The man explained that his wife’s allowance had always been a bone of contention between them. She constantly wanted him to increase it. He said that she bought unnecessarily expensive makeup that she’d only wear to go and have coffee with her friends.

She expected him to cover costs

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He also said that she would also buy expensive things for their daughter that he hadn’t agreed to and then expect him to pay for them on top of her allowance.

She had more free time

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The couple’s daughter had recently started school, and the man said that his wife had used her extra time during the day to start taking on “gig jobs”, such as dog walking.

He wanted her to contribute

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The man said that his wife’s work was taking away from her time as a stay-at-home mom. Accordingly, he said he wanted her to start paying something towards the running of the house.

She refused

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His wife said she wouldn’t contribute and told him to just reduce her allowance instead, as she was now earning for herself again.

They argued about it

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The man said the couple had fought over the issue, and although things seemed to be okay between them, he felt his wife was still angry at him.

He asked the internet

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Unsure of whether he’d been out of line or not, the man asked the online community for their opinion.

The internet responded

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The internet gave the man some short shrift. “This all seems like pretty textbook financial abuse,” said one. “She is supposed to be your partner. You are essentially paying her to be your wife and homemaker.”

“You seem controlling, said another. If your daughter is in school, then your wife isn’t taking time off from being a stay-at-home mom. Your wife should be allowed to make a small amount of pocket money without you controlling it. Let her have some autonomy and money of her own that you don’t constantly scrutinize.”

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