He Needed an Extra 20 Minutes to Decompress After a Tough Shift, but When His Wife Found Out, She Called Him Selfish

A nurse recently asked for some advice because his wife got mad at him for taking the longer route home after distressing shifts. Here’s what happened.

He Worked as a Nurse

Doctor
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A 37-year-old man worked as a triage nurse, which meant he had to see a lot of very unpleasant and upsetting things and deal with people who were in a lot of pain and distress.

His Wife Stayed Home

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His wife was a stay-at-home mom to their six-year-old daughter, and this arrangement had worked perfectly well until recently.

He’d Been an EMT

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The man had been working in emergency medicine since the age of 20. He said, “After a decade and a half, I became pretty desensitized to most gore, blood, death, and other horrific things.”

Then Everything Changed

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About a year ago, all that changed. He began getting very upset after treating patients, especially children. He said, “I’m pretty sure it has to do with fatherhood and my daughter being in school now and away from her mother’s watchful eye.”

He Treated a Seven-Year-Old

young man college
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One day, the man had to treat a seriously injured seven-year-old, and it hit him hard. He decided to take the longer route home instead of the quick one because it would give him more time to calm down and get his emotions in check before seeing his family.

He Lied to His Wife

Lies
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Because the journey was much longer than his usual commute, the man called his wife and told her that he’d missed his exit and she wouldn’t worry.

It Made Him Feel Better

Sometimes You're Better Off With Friends, And Without Family
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By the time the man got home, he felt much better. Because his extra-long journey worked so well, he started doing it every time he’d had a difficult shift.

He Was Doing It More and More

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The problem was that distressed patients were all part of the job, and he was soon doing it every day.

His Wife Got Mad

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His wife tolerated his lateness at first, but when her husband was doing it every day, she started to get mad. The man said, “My wife doesn’t like it, as it means she has to make dinner while entertaining our daughter, which gets hectic.

He Thought It Worked Well

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Even though he knew his wife was upset and he did feel a little guilty, he also knew that he was being a better father when he got home because his daughter didn’t see him upset and stressed.

His Wife Called Him Out

They Call You When They_re Going To Be Late
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Eventually, the man’s wife had to say something, and she told him that she knew he was deliberately taking longer to get home; she’d been tracking his phone.

He Tried to Explain

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The man argued that it was for a good reason, but his wife wasn’t interested. She wanted him to switch back to the faster route and get home as quickly as possible.

Was He Wrong?

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Was the man wrong to take a few extra minutes to de-stress before seeing his family, or should his wife have been more understanding?

The Internet Responded

Emojis on Reddit
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One person said, “Yes, you need the time. But instead of communicating that to your wife, you lied. Instead of communicating her suspicions, she tracked you. You folks need to learn to talk to each other.”

Another commented, “You definitely need that time to unwind, but just tell your wife that at the beginning instead of suddenly being late every day.”

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