He Thinks it’s Inappropriate That His Sister Wants a Tattoo to Remember Her Teacher Who Passed a Way but She Says ‘Stay out Of It’

A man recently told his sister not to get a tattoo to remember her late teacher as it would most likely upset their mother. He thinks she should think twice, but the sister doesn’t understand why. Here’s what he had to say.

The sister wants a memorial tattoo

Name Tattoos
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His sister wants a tattoo to remember her creative writing professor, who sadly passed away. The pair became very close during her four years at college, working on several big projects together and often meeting for coffee and lunch. 

Her brother disagrees

tattoo
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But her brother is convinced that the tattoo tribute is a bad idea. Although he’s never said anything to his sister about it, he thinks her relationship with the professor was a kind of surrogate mother/daughter thing.

The mom and sister have problems

Passive-Aggressive Comments
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The sister has always had a problematic relationship with their mother. The pair have always argued, and she never confides in her mother. She probably found something she was looking for in the older female professor, without realizing it.

He thinks their mom will be upset

Ignoring Your Achievements
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The brother thinks their mum would be distraught if his sister got the tattoo. He believes she’d see it as a constant reminder of the poor relationship with her daughter.

She thought it would be a nice tribute

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The sister got the idea for the tattoo because she had an accident when receiving the call about her professor dying. She was making a cup of tea at the time, and the shocking news made her spill boiling water on her arm. The boiling water caused third-degree burns, which then left a scar.

Flowers to remember

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So the sister decided to get a tattoo of a bouquet of flowers over the scar in memory of the professor. But why would that upset her mum?

The professor honored her

Graduation
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It goes back to her sister’s graduation. On that special day, her professor bought her a bouquet of flowers. She spent the next few days parading the bouquet around the house, and her mother took it as an insult as if she was in the wrong for not being the one who bought her daughter flowers.

A bad memory for mom

woman bus
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In other words, it could seem like a reminder of the awkward day. He said this to his sister, explaining that getting the flower tattoo would upset their mum. “She’ll feel cast aside,” he said. “Like she’s been exiled from your life.”

He was trying to help

evict
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He wasn’t taking sides or saying anyone was right or wrong. Instead, he played peacemaker, encouraging her to be more sympathetic toward her mother’s feelings. But the sister did not take the advice in the spirit it was given. Instead, she was furious with her brother.

The sister was angry

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During a particularly bad phone call, she screamed, “I can’t believe you think you have the right to tell me not to do this.” And apart from one text congratulating him on a recent promotion at work, she has yet to speak to or even try to contact her brother. 

The parents don’t want to talk

Holding Grudges
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The guy wanted to speak to his parents about it, but neither was interested. His mother refused to say anything. His dad agreed with him but kept quiet. He told his son that he should never have brought the subject up with his sister.

He doesn’t know if he did the right thing

scold
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Now the guy is confused. He doesn’t know if he’s in the right or in the wrong. He just wanted to help, but now he can’t stop asking himself the same question: “Am I being a jerk?”

People responded

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One user said, “What you have described is the golden child and the scapegoat child. You being the golden child. N didn’t get what she needed from her own mother and was incredibly fortunate that another stepped in and took on that role.”

Another said, “YTA. Agree. Not much else to say other than it’s ok for people to have meaningful connections to humans in life who aren’t their parents and honor them and that connection however they want it’s not her problem to deal with her mother’s pain or feeling left out.”

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Source: Reddit