He Wasn’t Into the Woman He Was “Assigned” at His Friend’s Wedding, but When He Started Dancing With Someone Else, the Bride Branded Him “Creepy”

A man recently reached out for some advice after a wedding he attended went downhill because he wanted to dance with a bridesmaid. Here’s what happened.

They’d been friends forever

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A man and his friend, Tom, had known one another for years, but they didn’t get to see one another much because they lived on opposite sides of the country.

He was asked to be a groomsman

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Tom asked the man to be a groomsman at his upcoming wedding to Liz. The man felt honored and excited.

He was paired up

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The man said, “When I arrived, I was ‘assigned’ a bridesmaid. We’ll call her Kelly.” Liz made it clear that the two should pair up.

He didn’t agree

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The man didn’t dislike Kelly, but they turned out to have nothing in common beyond both being black. The man felt this was the reason they had been paired up.

Kelly was into him

Too Territorial
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But she felt differently. “The first night, the entire wedding party went out, and it became clear that Kelly wanted to hook up.”

He let her down gently

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The man told Kelly he didn’t want to take things further, and she got upset and demanded to know why. The man said he wasn’t looking for a short-term relationship, and since they lived so far apart, he couldn’t see a future for them.

She liked him even more

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Ironically, this made Kelly like him even more. She thought he was honest and kind—just the kind of man she wanted.

She messaged him

Inability To Greet People
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Meanwhile, the man received a message from another bridesmaid, Jen. They hit it off instantly.

They danced at the reception

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The man said, “At the reception, me and Kelly do our entrance together and then dance together for a bit. Then I go to the bar, and Jen and I start dancing.”

Kelly was glaring at him

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When the pair were dancing, Kelly was giving him dirty looks, but the man ignored her as much as possible and focused on having fun with Jen.

Liz confronted him

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Later, the man went to the bar, and Liz informed him that dancing with Jen was inappropriate. She said it looked “creepy.”

There was an age difference

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When the man asked what she meant, Liz said it was the age difference. He was 32; Jen was 24. She said that it was ruining her wedding, and it had to stop.

Kelly had her say

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The man said, “Then Kelly started saying I must have a fetish for white women. At this point, I realized that there was no logical argument I could make.”

He went to bed early

Have Sex With My Spouse
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The man went to his room. Jen joined him soon after, and they both noticed they’d been removed from the wedding chat.

They were both crying

Emotional Labor
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Tom later told the man that both Kelly and Liz had spent a long time crying with one another and that although he didn’t blame the man, the situation had dampened the wedding.

Was he wrong?

Never Apologizing
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Was the man wrong to have danced with Jen after turning Kelly down, or was it his choice to dance with whoever he wanted?

The internet responded

Emojis on Reddit
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One person said, “I hate when people think that just because you are of the same race, you are meant to be.”

Another person said, “Sobbing over someone you just met nicely turning you down? Like, come on now.”

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