Her Controlling Mother-In-Law Wants to Name Her Newborn Son and Her Husband Doesn’t Think They Should Argue Against It

A pregnant woman recently became enraged after her mother-in-law and boyfriend insisted on naming her new-born child according to old-age customs without her consent. Here is what the 25-year-old woman had to say:

They Struggled To Pick Names

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The woman was 23 weeks pregnant with her second child, and she and her boyfriend were struggling with the naming process. 

They had already gone through a difficult time naming their first child, a beautiful baby girl, a year and a half earlier. The woman said, “We actually threw out both names at the hospital and went back to the baby name list after she was born.”

They Chose a Family Name

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When naming their daughter, the couple ultimately agreed on a name honoring the boyfriend’s grandmother, who was near the end of her life when the baby was born.

The woman added, “My in-laws were a major issue in naming our daughter. They gave me a deadline to name her so they could get shirts made and constantly pushed my mother-in-law’s name as an option.”

There Is a Family Tradition

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Now expecting a baby boy, the woman faced another challenge: her in-laws insisted that the baby’s initials follow a “family tradition” of always having the initials JKT for boys. 

When her mother-in-law was pregnant with her first son, she and her abusive ex-husband chose the initials JKH. After divorcing him, she and her new husband (the woman’s father-in-law) continued the tradition with the initials JKT for their four boys, though not for their daughter.

Not Everyone Had Complied

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The woman’s sister-in-law did not follow the tradition for her son, instead choosing a name that honored her father-in-law. However, two of her boyfriend’s six siblings had named their sons with the JK initials.

Unfortunately, the girlfriend had strong concerns, which she worried others might see as petty, about the tradition. 

She Had Felt Singled Out

People Who Are Worried That They Might Be Bad Are People With Good Intentions
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Growing up, the woman’s siblings and mother had the same first initial (J), while she had a different one. 

This led to feelings of resentment and jokes about her ‘being the odd one out.’ Other people noticed it, and having a different first initial left her feeling alienated from her family.

She Didn’t Want That For Her Daughter

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The woman continued, “I never want my daughter to feel like a joke when her name is beautiful, nor do I want to hate my own son’s name, as the J thing leads me to genuinely dislike names starting with that letter.”

And all the names she liked, starting with J, were already taken in the family.

Her Mother-in-Law Was Adamant

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The pregnant woman had conversations with her mother-in-law about her discomfort and the fact that she had her own family name traditions, which she never forced on her boyfriend or presented as the only option. 

The mother-in-law disagreed and even said, “If I only agree to one of our sons being named JKT, then she hopes we only have one son.”

Her Boyfriend Agreed With His Mom

Passive-Aggressive Comments
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The woman’s boyfriend believed it was the right thing to do as a tradition and wanted to make his parents happy. The girlfriend had agreed to the name James for their baby, with a middle name that deviated from the tradition (to honor someone else in their family.)

Was She Being Petty?

Upholds Boundaries
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However, her boyfriend found this idea unacceptable and either lost his temper or ignored her whenever she brought it up.

Faced with a difficult situation, the pregnant woman sought advice online, hoping for honest opinions on whether she was being petty about the naming issue or if her boyfriend was the one who was being unreasonable.

The Internet Responded

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One person posted, “The fact that your mother-in-law actually thinks she gets a say in your child’s name is wild to me. If you don’t like a name, say no. Tell her that if she wants to name a baby, she’d better make another one.”

Another user suggested, “They sound extremely controlling. Don’t agree to any names you don’t like. If anything, one of you could choose the first name and the other the middle name. Or, you could use the same initials as your daughter.”

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