Her Mom Died and Now Her Dad Wants Her to Live with Him but She Says ‘I Have My Own Life’

A young girl wants to tell her absent father that she and her siblings won’t be moving to live with him after the death of their mother. The grieving man does not have a good relationship with his daughter, and she doesn’t want to move away from the life she has built.

Their mom passed away

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The girl, aged 17 years old, lives with her 20-year-old sister and 11-year-old brother, who suffers from autism and could be difficult to handle. The young woman said, “Our mom passed away recently from cancer that we didn’t know she had, and so we had no time to treat before she died.

Their father lives away

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My dad has been living in a different state for work since the beginning of Covid. It was his choice to leave as there were still jobs in our area when he left.” Their father had a strained relationship with their mother before she died, and both had been considering divorce.

He came back for the funeral

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He had been absent for years and had grown distant from his family. However, when their mother passed away, he returned home to be with her in the hospital. He then stayed for the funeral service before leaving again.

He wants the kids to live with him

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He wanted his three children to come and live with him, but his daughter said, “I’m not entirely sure why he thinks anything has really changed, but suddenly he’s obsessed with being a present father and wants to move us all to him.

They’d have to leave their lives

Racking A Shotgun
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“That would mean leaving our friends, support groups, activities, and our mother’s home. Not to mention any pets we’d have to part with.”

She’s worried about their brother

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The daughter was especially worried about her autistic brother, who required stability in his life and would not cope well with the disruption of moving. She knew that he had grown used to their father’s absence and was doing fine without him. 

Neither of the girls wants to go

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The young woman herself had a difficult relationship with her father since childhood and didn’t feel the need for his sudden presence in her life. Her older sister had already declared her intention to stay behind if the move happened, as she was old enough to live independently and had a stable job.

She thinks it’s just for his benefit

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The young woman felt that the proposed move would only benefit her father and that he was not considering the needs of the rest of his family. 

She doesn’t want to leave her brother alone with the dad

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She wished she could stay with her sister, but she couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her young brother alone with their father, who didn’t know how to care for him properly.

It’s unfair to the children

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“Our dad hasn’t wanted to be here for years, and it was his choice to leave in the first place, but now that he’s sad and a bit lonely, he suddenly wants us all to be together, and it’s not fair,” she complained.

They think he’s selfish

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The young woman didn’t understand why her father couldn’t just move back to be closer to them. Her older sister agreed and said it was selfish of him to disrupt their lives just to meet his own needs.

She wants to tell him off

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The daughter wished she could just tell her father, “Grow up and bear it as you should. It wasn’t your fault that Mom died, but it was your fault that you hadn’t been around. Take responsibility for your choice and either come back here or leave us alone and just send us the money.”

She’s unsure about what to do

disabled
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The young woman didn’t know what to do for the best or how she should approach her father. She, therefore, asked for advice.

The internet responded

Reddit Moderation
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One poster suggested, “So, telling your dad to grow up and get over it isn’t going to help. However, talking to him about your brother’s need for stability and the amount of care your brother needs might help. Tell your dad you will not move. If he forces your brother to move in with him, your dad will be on his own with your brother.”

Another wrote, “Maybe the dramatic and traumatic situation has prompted your dad to want to “do the right thing” and be a better father. But that doesn’t dismiss nor change the fact that he has been a negligent dad in the past.”

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Source: Reddit