Her Mother-In-Law Secretly Made Changes to Her Wedding Dress and Now She’s Had Enough of Her Meddling

A woman in the midst of wedding planning recently became frustrated with her controlling mother-in-law’s constant meddling. Now she wants to set some boundaries. Here’s what she had to say.

She Had a Difficult Past

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The woman, who was due to be married soon, had endured a difficult past of childhood abuse and bullying at the hands of her father. 

From the age of 6, she was treated for anxiety, and by 14, she was battling depression. From her early years until age 28, she required regular therapy sessions.

She Had To Set Boundaries

Ignoring Boundaries
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After speaking to professionals for over two decades and working hard to overcome her struggles, she discovered the importance of self-respect and setting boundaries. 

“I people-pleased my entire life, prioritizing others, never saying no, and being guilted and manipulated. After therapy, I now have a strong aversion to people trying to control me,” the woman explained.

Her Future Mother-In-Law Was Intrusive

Disrespecting Your Boundaries
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Unfortunately, these new insights into improving her mental health were continuously tested by her narcissistic future mother-in-law.

Her partner’s mother was a very sensitive woman who felt entitled to have a say in her son’s life whenever she felt like it and never respected anyone’s opinion but her own.

She Meddled in House-Buying

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Although the mother-in-law had been made aware of the bride-to-be’s difficult past, she consistently intruded into the couple’s lives regardless.

When the couple decided to move cities, she intervened without their knowledge, contacting an estate agent on their behalf. She arranged appointments for them to view homes they had not personally shown interest in.

She Didn’t Take ‘No’ For an Answer

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Even after they moved and explicitly expressed their wish not to have her involved on the day, she still visited them a few days later, offering suggestions about their new home. 

The bride-to-be also mentioned a fact that she found particularly demonstrative of her mother-in-law’s character, “She sews a lot and forces her creations on us when we don’t want them, then calls us ungrateful.”

Wedding Planning Was Rough

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The situation with the older woman’s interference worsened when it came to wedding planning. 

The couple wanted to plan their own wedding, but the man’s mother didn’t respect their wish. The woman said, “She tried to force me into wearing Converse with my name on; she tried to push us into her choice of venue; she sulked when we didn’t want her doing favors.”

She Tried To Include The Mother-In-Law

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In an attempt to appease and include the mother-in-law, the woman involved her in choosing the wedding flowers. 

However, this resulted in the mother-in-law being pushy about what bouquets to pick, arguing about what she liked instead of listening to her future daughter-in-law’s preferences. 

It Was a Nightmare

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The woman continued, “She was offended that my partner wanted to go suit shopping with me, not her, and when I tried on my dress and was nervous about weight gain, she told me I was fat compared to what I was.”

The constant interference continued until the mother-in-law crossed a major line: she secretly arranged for alterations to the woman’s wedding dress. 

She Commissioned an Unwanted Bag

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After being confronted about the dress, the older woman told the bride-to-be to “stuff” herself. 

Yet, just two days later, the mother-in-law ordered a seamstress to make a bag to match the wedding dress, despite the woman neither wanting nor asking for it. The woman stated, “I understand her intention and feel bad she paid for the bag, but we have opposite tastes.”

Should She Set Some Boundaries Now?

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The woman had grave concerns about how her mother-in-law’s actions would impact her marriage and any future kids. Although her partner supported her, his mother didn’t listen to him either.

Fed up and confused about how to proceed, the woman sought help online in deciding whether she was wrong to reject her mother-in-law’s wedding input or if she should set some boundaries now to avoid setting a life-long precedent of acceptable meddling.

The Online Community Responded

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One user posted, “Stop telling her ANYTHING. You’re going to have to start getting harsh with her. Let her cry and pout. Let her daughter get mad. Who cares? She’s being psychotic.”

Another person wrote, “Unless both of you are firm with her, this will never stop. Set boundaries and hold her to them. If she can’t stick to them, cut contact with her until she apologizes. This is abusive, narcissistic, and controlling behavior and is unacceptable.”

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