Her Uncle Was Deliberately Cruel to Her Autistic Sister, but When She Called Him Out and Said He Wasn’t Welcome, the Family Took His Side

A woman recently asked for some advice because her uncle was being deliberately cruel to her neurodivergent sister, and she didn’t know what to do. Here’s what happened.

Her little sister was neurodivergent

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A 20-year-old woman’s seven-year-old sister, Jane, had ADHD and was autistic.

It could be tough

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Her problems meant that she could be hard to handle at times. She could be loud, and she would often have meltdowns.

Other kids teased her

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The woman said, “She also doesn’t understand social cues and doesn’t like playing with other kids as they often wind her up.”

She liked to color

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One thing Jane did like was to color. When she had a coloring book, she would happily sit quietly for hours.

He didn’t have children

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The woman and her sister had an uncle, John, who was in his 30s and had chosen to remain childless.

Everyone had a tale to tell

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The woman said, “Pretty much all the kids have stories of when he’s said or done something to deliberately upset them.”

He was cruel

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John would delight in telling the younger kids that Santa and the Tooth Fairy didn’t exist. He’d once told the woman’s other sister that she’d killed a unicorn by being annoying.

He disliked Jane

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John didn’t get along with most kids, but he seemed to actively dislike Jane.

He didn’t believe her diagnosis

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John felt Jane was just looking for attention, and he didn’t believe that she had ADHD or was autistic. He didn’t believe those issues existed at all and thought it was just kids misbehaving.

He complained

Pick Your Battles
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The woman overheard John complaining to his girlfriend, Lucy, about Jane over dinner one time. Lucy said she wanted to go somewhere to make out. John moaned that they couldn’t because Jane would be hanging around.

He made a sick joke

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The woman said that John went on to “joke” about “dumping” Jane in a lake.

She was worried

How Much I Worry About Them
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Although the woman didn’t think John was that cruel, she was worried he might have something unkind planned, so she told her mom.

They had never gotten along

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Her mother agreed to keep an eye on John because she knew what her brother was like. She said she’d never really liked him and didn’t know why he was still invited to family gatherings when his behavior was so vile.

She told others

They Say Nice Things About Others Behind Their Backs
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The woman’s mom mentioned the problem to a few other family members over the coming days and said she was thinking of no longer inviting John to family gatherings.

They disagreed with the idea

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No one else seemed to think it was an issue and didn’t think John should be excluded just because of a “joke.”

John found out

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The woman said, “It got back to John that this was being discussed, and he flipped out and said I was trying to embarrass him in front of his new girlfriend.”

Was she wrong?

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Was the woman wrong to be worried about her uncle’s behavior towards her sister, or was it a problem that needed to be dealt with?

The internet responded

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One person said, “He sure is a bully! Kind of telling that he thinks he can be so mean to members of the family and still be included.”

Another person commented, “Good for you for sticking up for your sister. It sounds like your uncle wants all of the attention.”

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