His In-Laws Came to Stay for a Year, and It Almost Destroyed His Marriage, but Now His Wife Wants Them to Stay for Another Six Months

A man recently went online to ask if he was wrong to oppose his parents-in-law staying at his house for six months. Here’s his story

They had a strong marriage

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“We’ve been happily married for seven years,” the man began. “We have a four-year-old daughter. We rarely have disagreements, much less major arguments.”

His wife had built a new life

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“My wife is Chinese. She moved to the US in 2011, naturalized, and has no intention or desire to return. All of her family is still in China.”

He was more westernized

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The man explained that he is Japanese but grew up mostly in the US. He is the family’s breadwinner, and his wife is a stay-at-home mom.

His in-laws came to stay

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When the couple’s daughter was born, the man’s parents-in-law came to stay at their house for a year. He felt a little uncomfortable with this, but his wife was still working at the time; he didn’t want to appear disrespectful, and the help with their new baby was also massively appreciated.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like them

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The man stressed that his in-laws were brilliant grandparents to his daughter and always helped out. However, he said that there was a large cultural and language divide between them. He knew it was traditional in some cultures for the wife’s parents to move in, but it wasn’t for him.

There was a language barrier

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It didn’t help that his wife’s parents could only speak Chinese. They didn’t know about Western culture or its boundaries, and they weren’t interested in learning. The couple lived in the suburbs, and as his in-laws didn’t drive, they spent most of their time at home.

They played their trump card

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The man said that he and his wife had no privacy when his in-laws were around. He found some of their behavior disrespectful, but as they spoke different languages, he could only communicate it through his wife, who would be told, “We’re your parents; you can’t tell us what to do.”

He didn’t want to be there

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The man’s relationship suffered as a result. He began staying late at the office, as it was the only way he could get any time to himself. He and his wife became more distant, and at one point he genuinely feared for their marriage.

They got through it

His Infatuation
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Once his in-laws finally went home, the man and his wife got their marriage back on track. But four years down the line, his wife declared that she wanted her parents to come and stay again for six months.

He tried to compromise

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The man had objected, suggesting a two- or three-month stay instead, but his wife was adamant. The man feared a repeat of last time but said his concerns were being dismissed. At the same time, he didn’t want to seem like an orge who hated his in-laws, because that wasn’t true either.

He asked the internet

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Caught between a rock and a hard place, the man asked the online community for their thoughts.

The internet responded

Reddit
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The internet sympathized. “A stay-over that long needs both parties to buy in,” said one. “You shouldn’t feel trapped at work because you don’t want to go home.”

“It sounds like they’re making a trial run for living out their golden years with you at the expense of your sanity,” observed another.

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