His Kids Hurt Her Feelings so She Told Her Family and Now Her Husband Is Furious She Didn’t Tell Him First

A woman recently sought the guidance of the internet, wondering if her decision to discuss her hurt feelings with her own family, before confronting her husband about his kids’ actions, was wrong. Now, her husband is left fuming.

The Woman Married A Widower

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The woman had been married for 22 years. When they met, the man was a widower with two young children who were seven and eight years old at the time.

The woman always tried to be a good stepmother to her husband’s children, and over the years, they consistently had an okay relationship.

She Wanted To Be A Good Parent

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The stepmom admitted, “Sometimes I hoped they would view me more than just stepmom, but I never expected to be a mom. A ‘true parent’ to them is more what I would hope they would see me as. I believe parents can be more than just mom and dad.”

She Was Just Their Dad’s Wife

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The wife knows, though, that she never reached this level of importance in the hearts of her husband’s two children, and she has accepted that. The family had their ups and downs. When her feelings got hurt, the woman went to therapy because she didn’t want to burden them.

“I married a widower. I married a man with kids. I knew going in that I would meet them where they were when their mom died,” the stepmom said.

Both Stepkids Have Families

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Both of the woman’s step-children have children of their own, and both of them have taken the more traditional route of naming them after family members.

With their first two children, both of the step-children honored their mother, father, and parents-in-law. 

A Comment Was Made On Facebook

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The woman’s stepdaughter recently gave birth to her third child and named her baby girl after her and her husband’s grandmothers.

The woman reacted, “When my stepdaughter announced the name on social media, she commented that all the most important women in their lives had been honored now, and my stepson agreed with her.”

The Woman Felt Dismissed

Late Replies to Messages
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After reading the social media comments, the woman’s feelings were hurt, and she decided to discuss this with her family.

She told them that, though she was obviously happy for them and glad that she was in their lives, the comment made still stung her a bit.

Her Husband Overheard

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As the woman was explaining her situation to her family on the phone, her husband returned home and overheard what she was saying.

He was immediately angry that she did not talk to him, feeling that she should have confided in him first because he was her husband.

The Matter Concerns His Children

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The wife told her spouse that she thought it unfair to bring it up to him as it is not something that he (or anybody else) can or should change.

In response, her husband told her they were his children, which is why it was relevant to him. He told her it was his job to speak with his kids, as she is his wife, but she insisted that talking to them about it wouldn’t help at all.

She Didn’t Want Action

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The woman’s husband still seems upset with her, and now she feels that she should have confided in him before telling her family how she felt.

She has emphasized that she never wanted her husband to try and force his children to change how they feel about her. She knows doing this would only make things worse.

Should She Have Talked To Him First?

unsure
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She has now turned to Reddit to ask the community if she was wrong for talking to her family about her issues rather than speaking directly to her husband.

Fortunately for the woman, most people feel she has the right to confide in her own family about her feelings, no matter the subject.

People Responded

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One user posted, “Your husband’s reaction confirms your reasons for not wanting to confide in him. He isn’t respecting your feelings and wants to charge in with action you don’t want him to take.”

A second suggested, “I have a fixer personality. I have worked very hard to learn to chill out when people are just venting. Sit your husband down and have a talk with him about this. We fixers can appear stubborn or stupid, but it’s because we want you to be happy!”

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Source: Reddit