She’s a Successful Accountant but Her Boyfriend Keeps Referring to Her as A Bookkeeper and She’s Fed up With It

A woman recently asked if her fiancé was a jerk for always referring to her as a bookkeeper to other people when in fact she owned her own accounting firm. Here’s what she had to say.

The Woman Runs Her Own Business

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The woman, 45, has a fiancé, 55, who’s a retired military officer. She owns a very successful company that she started seven years ago and has around 25 staff members.

She Worked Hard to Succeed

People Who Seem To Be Coping Well Just Have A Routine
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The woman worked her way through college, paying for it as she went along. For this reason, she graduated in her early 30s with a double major in accounting and business management, and she is very proud of her achievements.

She Did It on Her Own

You Hate the Thought of Letting Others Down
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The woman worked very hard for her degrees and has no debt. She understands it took her longer than the typical student who goes full-time, but she also had to work full-time for the classes.

She Has Heard It Before

drive coworker
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The woman said, “I have been “teased” that jr. college isn’t the same as going four years at a major university. Well, I am proud to have done both and feel the education I received at Jr. college was excellent.”

She Is Her Own Boss and It Feels Good

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The woman used to work as an accountant for some large corporations and also worked in programming and IT. She started her own company doing similar things, supporting large and small companies. She has wonderful staff; she manages the contracts, kicks off the meetings, and is in charge of sales and consulting.

They Met Before She Began Her Business

Take An Interest In My Hobbies
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She began dating her now fiancé before she started her own company, and they recently got engaged.

Her Fiancé Doesn’t Get It

Brutal Honesty
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However, there’s just one problem. Her fiancé keeps introducing her as a bookkeeper. she said, “no disrespect intended to them or the profession. My issue is that I have worked hard to get where I am. I am an accountant, a graduate with a double major, and a successful business owner.”

He Keeps Belittling Her

Pick Your Battles
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She feels that her fiancé could choose any other title to introduce her as, but he keeps using the word bookkeeper.

She Has Asked Him to Stop

They All Want A Man
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She has asked her fiancé many times in private to stop calling her a bookkeeper, as it implies to her clients and her business associates that he doesn’t respect her or what she has accomplished. Her fiancé doesn’t think it’s a big deal, and so he continues to call her a bookkeeper.

He Did It in Front of A Client

You Can_t Always Be Right
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At a recent event, the woman pulled him aside beforehand and asked him to introduce her as a consultant. During the event, they talked to a prospective client for her company, and her fiancé said, “she has come a long way for a bookkeeper.” The woman was very embarrassed, excused herself, and then walked away.

She Went Home Alone

Unable To Take A Joke
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She and her fiancé had arrived at the event in separate cars, so she left in her own car and went home (they both own their own townhouses). “I sent him a text to let him know I was leaving and would talk to him later,” the woman said.

Some People Feel that He’s a Misogynist

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Her fiancé thinks she’s overreacting, but her family feels he is controlling and doesn’t respect her or women in general. The woman is not sure what to do now.

She Thinks He Disrespects Her in Public

Unsolicited Advice
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Her partner seems very supportive when they’re together, but unfortunately, not when other people are around. She feels like he treats her as a subordinate, as a kid playing with the adults. She also said, “he does talk down to me in front of my family, but I always assumed he was ‘joking’ badly.”

The Woman Asked if She Was Overreacting

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One user said, “This man is military. He understands what titles are and why they matter, and he is doing this on purpose.”

Another user said, “You’ve attempted healthy communication multiple times, and he continues to refer to you in a way that’s belittling and disrespectful of all you’ve accomplished. He can no longer play the clueless card. You’ve made it very clear how this is affecting you. I think your family is right.”


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