She Didn’t Want to Host Her In-Laws Just After Giving Birth, But Her Husband Wouldn’t Take No for An Answer

This nursing mother recently wondered if she was wrong for refusing to entertain her in-laws who were visiting because she had just given birth. She was tired and didn’t want to play host. Here’s what the mom had to say.

Husband’s Family Lived Far Away

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The woman’s husband’s family lived really far on the other side of the country. They didn’t see them much because of the distance. They had their first baby at the peak of the coronavirus pandemic, so her husband’s family couldn’t meet the baby until a year later.

They Had Another Baby

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Later, they gave birth to their second child. Her husband’s family, which had four grown-ups and three kids, wanted to visit during the spring break and she said yes.

She Didn’t Feel Like Cooking

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But she didn’t want to prepare food for so many people.  “I told my husband to make sure they know we will be ordering in every meal, and beyond eggs and cereal and some drinks and snacks (i.e. chips and fruit), I wasn’t planning to get much else,” she said.

She Was Exhausted

Insufficient Sleep
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She was tired. Her newborn baby kept her up at night and she was still trying to breastfeed.  Because of this, she didn’t want extra people at home while she was trying to rest and manage her toddler’s big emotions around a new sibling.

Her Husband Wanted Fancy Food

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On the other hand, her husband had lots of ideas for what to eat. He wanted special things for his parents and kids. He also said he could cook something, which would require him to take numerous trips to grocery stores. He wanted to get the best bread and cheese.

She Got Upset

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At that point, she was not happy with him. She needed help with the kids, so this made her worried and she didn’t like the idea. “I am not trying to go above and beyond here and play host when I’m 3 weeks postpartum. They can eat the stuff from the grocery store even if it’s not the best and deal for 5 days,” she told her husband.

Her Husband Was Not Helpful

Complain
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Usually, whenever his family visited, he didn’t help out much. He spent a lot of time playing with his nephews and talking with his brother-in-law. She would be the one taking care of snacks and cleaning up, while his parents just wanted to hold the baby. So they never helped either.

She Was Angry With Her Husband

Their Bad Relationship
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The woman was mad at her husband. It felt like he was more focused on making sure his family had a good time and was happy, rather than making sure she was okay and getting the help she needed.

Was She Wrong?

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They had a big fight about this and had not talked much since. Her husband’s family was coming soon, and she was getting angrier. She was worried that she might be making a big deal out of it, but she couldn’t help feeling angry.

The Online Community Reacted

Social Spamming
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One person said, “Relatives that visit during the fourth trimester are there to help or show themselves out.”

Someone else said, “It takes 6-8 weeks for the body to recover from regular, uncomplicated birth. You cannot be expected to play hostess.”

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