She Doesn’t Want Her Fiancé To Be Available Round the Clock for His Cancer-Stricken Mother Because She’s Feeling Lonely

A woman posted on Reddit asking if she was doing something wrong by not wanting her fiancé to be constantly available for his dying mother. Here is what she had to say.

The Woman’s Fiancé’s Mother Is Dying from Cancer

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To make matters worse, his mom and dad also have guardianship over a 3-year-old child.

For the last year or so, the woman and her fiancé have helped the parents out with the 3-year-old every night. The woman helps two to three nights per week, and her fiancé goes over every day. 

She Doesn’t Love Doing It

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The couple has no children, so this isn’t exactly her favorite thing to do. 

“My fiancé has no boundaries with his family and will do whatever, whenever they ask him to,” she said.

The Woman Is Getting Lonely

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This is becoming a problem for the woman, as she misses time and attention with her fiancé. 

The couple is getting married in four months and are, after all, trying to plan a wedding. They hardly go on dates or have alone time, and if they do, they are interrupted by a phone call, and off her fiancé goes. 

Her Partner Is Also Moody

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Her fiancé gets stressed out and angry about the situation constantly, and the woman feels she’s the one he takes it out on. 

“I get calls at night when I’m in bed to come over because the kid wants a braid, and only I know how to do it (fiancés sisters don’t help), or the kid is crying for me. I do it because I feel bad, and it’s a child that has had a hard life, but I’m also annoyed before I actually do it. I’m happy I did it in the end,” she said. 

The Woman Understands It’s Not an Easy Situation

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The woman loves her fiancé’s mother and understands how hard it must be to lose a parent. She does want to help, and she does help. But the woman is getting worn out by the 24/7 on-call mentality. No one is taking care of themselves, and her relationship with her fiancé is deteriorating. 

She Thinks Her Fiancé Should Set Some Boundaries

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She’s frustrated by how everything is handled, as her fiancé lets his mom and dad have whatever they want. 

The Woman Is Also Very Concerned About the Child

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“So, because she wants to stay home, she’s dying in the living room in front of the kid while shouting at her husband for everything, while me and my fiancé are doing anything/everything 24/7 with no help from his other two siblings,” she explained. 

Her fiancé’s dad is 68, caring for his dying wife, a 3-year-old, with a non-working kitchen. 

It’s Not a Great Situation

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“It’s a mess. It’s so chaotic and depressing,” she said. 

On top of all of this, the mother is very demanding, bossy, controlling, and stubborn. But “she has a great heart and would do anything for anyone,” the woman said.  

The Mother Ended up In Hospital

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A week ago, the mom wasn’t doing very well and ended up in the hospital. This was a great relief for the family and her because she got the care she needed. 

Now she wants to come back home, and the young woman doesn’t know what to do. 

The Woman Has Had Enough

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She said, “I’m at my wit’s end. It’s hard going through all this and having all these feelings. I know my fiancé is going through losing a parent, which is heartbreaking.” 

She Wants Her Fiancé Back

Strong Feelings For A Loved One Aren’t Always Reciprocated
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She doesn’t want her fiancé to stop helping, but she does want him to cut back. She feels bad for asking him to give her and their relationship a little bit more attention, but she doesn’t know what to do. 

The woman told her fiancé how she felt, and although it was hard for him, he would try to be nicer to her. However, he wouldn’t stop being on call 24/7. 

She Reached Out To the Internet

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One user said, “Nobody wins in these situations. Can the hospital have one of their social workers get together with all of you and determine whether your fiancé’s parents are eligible for any sort of in-home nursing or housekeeping support?” 

Another said, “This is your husband showing you what kind of person he is. If you had the choice between a life partner who will be on call 24/7 to care for his family or one who won’t, would you really choose the latter?”

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Source: Reddit