“I’m just so tired”: She Just Gave Birth and Didn’t Want Her In-Laws to Visit but Her Husband Says She’s Being Unreasonable

A woman, having just given birth and exhausted, declined to host her in-laws when they wanted to visit. Her husband, however, wasn’t too thrilled with her decision and told her that she was being unreasonable. Here’s her take on the situation.

Her husband’s family lived far away

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They live on the other side of the country from his family. They had their first child at the height of the coronavirus pandemic, so his family did not meet the boy until his first birthday.

They had a second baby

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Her husband’s family, which consists of four adults and three children, asked if they could all come and see the baby during the spring holidays, to which the woman agreed.

She didn’t want to cook for seven extra people

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She told her husband to tell his family that she would order every meal instead of cooking. She didn’t want to spend much money buying supplies and ingredients other than the basics, such as eggs, cereal, snacks, and drinks.

She is still working on a routine with the baby

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The woman was still trying to establish breastfeeding with the baby, who kept her awake throughout the night. She was exhausted at the thought of seven extra people in her home for a week. 

He wanted to treat his family

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He said, “We are going to need X and X for my parents and X for the kids, and I was thinking one day I can make X.” Her husband then said they should buy the best bread and cheese.

His long list would require hours of shopping

The Price of Groceries
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If he were going to buy everything he wanted to, it would mean he’d be out of the house for hours when she needed help with the children.

Her husband wanted to get her father to help him shop

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This annoyed her. She explained to him that, at three weeks postpartum, she was not trying to go above and beyond to play host.

She explained her reasoning

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She said his family could eat whatever was already in the house, even if it wasn’t the best, as they would only be there for five days. In response, her husband told her that she sounded spiteful.

Her husband doesn’t usually help her when his family visits

Americans Are Lazy
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He would spend hours playing with his nephews or chatting with his brother-in-law, and the woman was well aware that she would end up setting out snacks and tidying up. Her in-laws wouldn’t help either because they’d be fussing over the baby and getting in the way.

She was annoyed with her husband

Not Laughing at My Jokes
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“He seems more concerned with his family having fun, the visit being a good time, and with them being comfortable, than with me getting what I need,” she said. The woman is worried that her husband will not have her back, so she would have to stand up to his family alone if she needs to protect herself and her well-being.

They had a huge fight

People Expecting You To Accept and Be OK With All Their Issues but Would Never Ever Accept 1_ of That From You
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The couple had a massive argument and have barely spoken to each other since. His family is due to arrive soon, and the woman has been getting angrier about their upcoming visit.

She asked the internet for advice

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Worried that she might be overreacting, she turned to the internet for help. She didn’t want to fall out with everyone over something small, but she couldn’t help how angry she was about the situation.

People responded

Emojis on Reddit
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One person replied, “Relatives that visit during the fourth trimester are there to help or show themselves tf out.”

Someone else said, “It takes 6-8 weeks for the body to recover from regular, uncomplicated birth. You cannot be expected to play hostess.”


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