She Refused to Babysit Her Sister’s Kids when Her Mom Had Agreed to Do It, but Now Her Mom Is Calling Her Selfish

This woman wondered if she was wrong for refusing to help her mom babysit her nieces and nephews while their parents went for dinner. Her mom called her selfish for her actions, but here’s what the woman had to say.

She Was Childfree

Adults Interacting Completely Innocently With Kids
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The lady had no kids and didn’t really like children. But even though she was not a big fan of them, she got along well with her nieces and nephews, whom she called ‘niblings.’

She Took Them on Fun Trips

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She had 8 nieces and nephews, ages 6 months to 3 years between her 3 siblings. Two of her siblings and 5 of her nibblings lived within 20 minutes of her. Sometimes they all went to the toy store or the zoo, with the parents present.

She Was a Fun Aunt

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She enjoyed being a fun aunt and doing things like having tea parties, reading stories, watching shows, playing in the mud, and more. But she also made her boundaries very clear to everyone.

She Was Clear About Her Limits

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“One of my hard boundaries is I did not choose to have children of my own and am not willing to babysit, parent, or otherwise be responsible for someone else’s children. I do not do diapers, bath time, fix kids meals, or put them to bed,” she explained. However,  if there was a real emergency, she was willing to take care of the kids temporarily until proper childcare was arranged.

Her mom Was Different

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Her mom, who was the grandmother of the kids, was quite the opposite. She was always happy to take care of the kids anytime and anywhere. Her mom found it difficult to understand why she didn’t want to spend time with the kids.

It Was Time to Babysit

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One day, her mom agreed to look after the kids while their parents went out for dinner. Then, her other brother had to leave town for work and asked her to take care of his kids too. Her mother happily said yes, but then realized she needed help because there were so many kids to take care of.

Her Mom Needed Her Help

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Then her mom asked for her assistance, but it felt more like a demand. “My brother apparently has to go to California tonight for work and failed to properly arrange childcare in advance, so my mother told me she would need my help to watch all 5 (sister’s 3 + brother’s 2) if my brother couldn’t arrange for someone else to watch his kids,” she said.

She Refused to Help

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She politely declined at first and then firmly said no when her mom kept pushing. She explained that if it was a real emergency, she would help out, but this situation wasn’t an emergency. She thought she shouldn’t have to give up her free time just because her siblings didn’t organize their lives properly.

Was Her Reason Valid?

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Her mom called her selfish and ungenerous for not wanting to help. But she insisted that even though she had plenty of time, the problem was that she was being asked to do something that went against her boundaries and made her uncomfortable.

People Online Responded

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One person said, “You don’t have an ‘excess of time. You just have made choices which mean you don’t spend your time being responsible for children you didn’t make.”

Another person wrote, “You have boundaries and have stuck to them. Good for you!”

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