She Refused To Help Care For Her Stepfather Because She Wasn’t Treated Equally So Her Mother Accuses Her Of Being Stuck In The Past

A woman recently questioned her decision to refuse to help her mother care for her stepfather after he was diagnosed with a brain condition. However, she says he never treated her kindly as a father figure. Here’s what she had to say.

She Had a Tough Relationship With Her Mom

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The woman and her mom had a tough relationship. They had hardly any contact for seven years. Even though her mom tried to make efforts to reconcile, the woman wasn’t interested. 

Her Mom Remarried

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The woman’s birth father died when she was 4, but her parents were never married. After her father died, they moved away for a better life. That’s when her mom met her stepfather, John, and they got married.

Her Mom Tried to Force the Relationship

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After her mom remarried, John and her mom wanted the woman to call John “dad.” “I was told, more than once, by them, that John was now my father and I was told to call him dad, refer to him as ‘dad’ with others, and not to correct anyone who used the term dad/father. I was to correct those who said he was my stepdad,” she said.

He Wasn’t Her Real Dad

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The woman disagreed with the decision because John treated her differently when he and her mom had their own kids. He didn’t see her as his daughter. Even though she still had to call him “dad,” she wasn’t treated equally. Her mom always took John’s side.

She Didn’t Like It

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“I didn’t want to do it, but I got in trouble. John got angry with me several times because he felt I was not showing respect for his feelings. He scolded me and said he was trying to be a father figure to me, and he expected me to treat him with respect as my dad,” said the woman.

She Left Home

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When she turned 18, she moved out and stopped talking to her mom and John. Her mom tried to contact her sometimes, but she was glad to be away from them.

Her Stepdad Fell Ill

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Sadly, John got sick with a neurological condition, and the woman’s mom had to care for him. Then, her mom asked her to return to help with John’s care, but the woman refused. She told her mom that she didn’t want to help after everything that happened.

She Told Her Mom How She Felt

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She told her mom that she didn’t care about them anymore. She said her mom had let her down as a parent. But her mom disagreed. Her mom said she was too stuck in the past and not being kind. She wanted her also to remember the good times.

Was She Wrong to Refuse?

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The woman confronted her mother on how John never treated her like a real daughter. A family friend spoke to her, begging her to reconsider her parents, even though they weren’t perfect. But the woman thought her decision was fair because of how she was treated when she was younger.

People Online Responded

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One user wrote, “For me, your mom and stepdad both failed you as parents. Both of them disrespect your memory of your father. If you’re happy now without them that’s fine.”

Another said, “He made it clear he wasn’t your father. Now it’s your turn to make clear you are not his daughter.”

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