She Shared Personal Messages from Her Sister-In-Law with Her Brother Because She Was Fed up With Their Arguments and Now the Sister-In-Law Is Furious

A woman is seeking advice after having a big argument with her sister-in-law. The conflict arose when she forwarded her personal text messages about their relationship directly to her brother. Here’s what she shared about the situation:

Her brother got married

“Perfect” Weddings
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The woman’s family, from the US, relocated to Switzerland when she and her brother were young. Her brother Todd returned to the US for college, where he married Hayley. The couple returned to Switzerland when Hayley became pregnant with their first child.

The wife keeps bothering them

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“Since they got married, and had a kid, Hayley has been trying to involve us in her and Todd’s relationship. She started texting my mother when she and Todd would disagree, asking my mother her opinion or if she could talk to Todd on her behalf.

The mother doesn’t want to interfere

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My mother was very uncomfortable with this. My mother was happy to help out with anything to do with adjusting to living in a different country. Still, she really didn’t want to get involved in Hayley and Todd’s relationship,” the woman said.

The wife texted her

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Hayley then began texting the woman herself, asking her to come over and talk about disagreements with Todd or seeking advice on handling personal relationship problems. 

The woman is uncomfortable

door dash
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The woman clearly expressed that she didn’t want to get involved in her brother’s marriage and that doing so was inappropriate. However, Hayley didn’t take the hint and started showing up at the mother’s house and the woman’s apartment.

They’ve told the brother

Lack of Communication
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The woman and her mother have spoken to Todd separately about this issue numerous times, but nothing seems to change. A few days ago, the situation escalated when Hayley called the woman again.

The wife calls again

You Avoid Replying if the Answer is _No
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“She was screaming and sobbing so loudly my sales assistant could hear her even though she wasn’t on loudspeaker. I ended up being able to understand that she was upset with Todd about money; he had changed his credit card details, and she was very upset.”

She wants the sister’s help

Lack Of Emotional Support
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The woman continued, “She

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wanted me to talk to him, but I told her I was not getting involved in this, and I was sick of her trying to drag me into her marriage. I told her that from now on, any messages or information shared with me would be passed along to Todd because I was done, and I hung up.”

She sent the text to her brother

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When Hayley continued to send texts, the woman forwarded them all to Todd as promised, causing further problems in the couple’s relationship.

The wife felt betrayed

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Later the woman received a text from Hayley accusing her of betraying her confidence, being a terrible person, and never helping her. The woman forwarded the message directly to Todd. Since then, neither of them has heard from Hayley.

Her friends didn’t agree

Jealousy
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The woman was left feeling uncertain when she confided in her friends, “I was at lunch with my friends yesterday, and they all said that while Todd definitely should have handled it, I shouldn’t have forwarded him the messages and that I did betray Hayley.”

She sought advice online

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One user responded, “NTA. You continuously told her that you were not getting involved. She didn’t listen to you and kept going. She shouldn’t be calling you at work hysterical and, again, not respecting the boundary you set. There is a difference between venting and needing to talk about issues; it is completely different from asking people to get involved in something that has nothing to do with them.”

A second poster said, “This had nothing to do with venting or talking about issues. Hayley was trying to manipulate her husband by getting his family to pressure him. If he didn’t agree with her or she didn’t get what she wanted, she went to them to get them involved, to make Todd do what she wants.”

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