She Treated Her Oldest Daughter Like a Second Parent for Her Youngest Kids, but Asking Her to Contribute to Their College Funds Was a Step Too Far

A single mother recently went online to ask if she’d been wrong to ask her eldest daughter to contribute toward her younger siblings’ college fund. Here’s her story.

She was a single mom

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“I have three children,” the 50-year-old began. “Two daughters, aged 30 and 16, and a 17-year-old son.”

There was an age gap

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“My eldest has a different father from the other two and was obviously fairly grown once her siblings were born.”

It was a lot of responsibility

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The woman admitted that her eldest daughter had spent much of her teenage years babysitting her younger siblings. The woman had worked afternoons and evenings, so it had been up to her daughter to collect her brother and sister from daycare and look after them until her mom got home.

It affected their relationship

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The woman also admitted that this arrangement meant that she and her eldest had a “strained” relationship, with her daughter accusing her of treating her like a “second parent,” causing her a lot of stress and harming her social development.

She’d realized it was wrong

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Over the years, the two had discussed their issues, and the woman had admitted making mistakes. She says they were struggling financially and that her daughter had always seemed keen to help, but she acknowledged she shouldn’t have put as much on her daughter as she did.

Her daughter was doing well

People Who Seem To Be Coping Well Just Have A Routine
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Fast forward a few years, and the woman’s eldest daughter had graduated college (her father had paid for her), and she was now working as a financial consultant. She was earning good money, and the woman (who had never been to college and always hovered around the poverty line) was very proud of her.

She asked her daughter

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However, her thoughts were now turning to her two younger children’s college education. Their father had run off after her youngest was born, and she didn’t want them to be burdened with huge debts, so she decided to ask her eldest daughter if she’d consider contributing. She emphasized that she was free to say no.

However, her daughter’s response stunned her.

Her daughter was offended

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Her daughter turned her down. Not only that, but she also got angry with her mom and said it was inappropriate to have even asked.

Her daughter accused her

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Her daughter went on to accuse the woman of having learned nothing from her mistakes and of still treating her like a second parent.

She asked the internet

You Avoid Replying if the Answer is _No
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The woman didn’t think she was being unreasonable, so she turned to the internet for a second opinion.

The internet responded

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The internet took no time to pile in on the woman. “You admit yourself that you took advantage of your daughter when she was younger, and now you have the gall to ask her to be a parent to her siblings again?” spat one. “She’s right. You asking was extremely inappropriate.”

“Your children are not the responsibility of your eldest,” echoed another. “You put a huge burden on her when she was herself still a child and forced her to have to grow up and take on adult responsibilities so fast. You sound so entitled to her money; it’s ridiculous.”

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