She Wants To Keep Her Ex-Husbands Surname Even Though He’s Getting Married Again and She Doesn’t Think It’s Wrong

A woman recently shared a story online about how her ex-husband wanted her to change her surname as he felt it was unreasonable for her to carry his name, especially as he was about to get married again.

Here’s how it went down.

woman surname
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

The woman and her ex-husband Tony were married for 26 years and had four children together. She didn’t provide specific details on why they decided to separate, but she mentioned that Tony turned out to be gay and was due to marry his new partner the following year. 

Generally, divorce proceedings can be problematic and take a toll on both parties. However, in the woman’s case, they both parted ways on amicable terms. 

While other women may have lost it upon finding out their husband’s sexual preference after years of being together, this woman accepted the situation, ensuring there was no animosity between her and Tony.

So, what caused their courteous relationship to go sour?

The woman went on a trip with her son and his family. In preparation for the trip, she gave her travel documents to her son. This was the beginning of the drama, which later unfolded.

When couples separate, they tend to come together for special occasions that involve their children. The birthday celebration of the woman’s grandson was one such occasion. 

The entire family was present, including Tony and his fiancé. While they were all chatting, her son jokingly said that he couldn’t believe that she hadn’t changed her last name. 

Her response was, “I am too lazy to rush to change everything that has his name on it’’.

Tony was not pleased with the news, especially since he was already engaged to someone else. 

He expressed his disapproval and thought it was weird that she was still bearing his last name. 

In reaction to his response, she said, ‘’unless you can go in my place, spend hours and hours in a queue and pay hundreds for it, I won’t do it in the near future’’.

If she had known this would become a problem later on, she probably wouldn’t have changed her name. 

Women have different reasons for changing their last names after marriage. Some see it as expressing their love and commitment to their partner. In this woman’s case, her decision wasn’t based on her own personal conviction. ‘

’Due to the stupidity of the time and social pressure, I added my husband’s name to my name’’ she said.

Tony called her after the party to further express his displeasure and told her she was being unreasonable and inconsiderate for refusing to drop his name. 

She didn’t seem to have any issue changing the name. She just wasn’t ready to do it at that time.

 ‘’I don’t intend to never change it. I just don’t want to go through it right now,’’ she said.

Her concern was the stress she would have to go through to effect the change. She had his name on all her major documents, like her driver’s license, passport, credit cards, and voter’s registration. 

Making changes to all those documents would take a lot of her time and even involve some financial commitment. She wasn’t ready to go through all of that. 

Her son was a bit on the fence. On the one hand, he understood why she decided not to do the name change. On the other hand, he felt that his dad had the right to be uncomfortable with his ex-wife using his name after their divorce.

What do you think about her decision? Is she being fair to Tony by deciding to keep his name, or is Tony just overreacting? 

Read the Reddit post here.