She Was Happy to Marry Into Her Husband’s Faith, but When She Tried Altering the Wedding Vows, the Priest Quit and Her Future In-Laws Withdrew Their Blessing

A Native American woman wrote to an online forum to ask for some wedding advice. Her future husband was Catholic, but when she heard the vows the priest wanted her to say, she refused and put the whole ceremony in jeopardy. Here’s what she said.

Mixed marriage

They Take Their Husband’s Surname
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The woman wrote, “I’m 27 and engaged to my partner, Alex, who’s 30. It’s relevant to note that my husband is Caucasian, and I’m Indigenous/Native American.

Dual ceremonies

The Wedding Industry
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“A situation has developed over the last few weeks with my partner’s family. We are planning two wedding ceremonies: a Catholic ceremony for his family and a ceremony from my culture for my family.”

Open invitation

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The woman’s parents will be attending the Catholic ceremony, and her future in-laws have been invited to the cultural ceremony.

Cultural understanding

ex wife
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The woman said that Alex has been very understanding during the planning stage. However, things took a strange turn when it came to the finer details of the ceremony.

Wedding vows

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When they met the Catholic priest, he took them through what he would say at their service. The woman asked if she could edit some of the words.

Give and take

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She presumed this would be possible because she had asked her tribal leader to change some of the words for her cultural ceremony.

Holy smoke

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The priest had big problems with her proposed changes. He refused to officiate the service, and now Alex’s parents have withdrawn their blessing for the wedding entirely.

No expert

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The woman had very little knowledge of Catholicism. She was confused about why changing ceremonial words would cause such a fuss.

Serious words

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Her main problem was that she felt that some of the vows were over-the-top. She felt like she was being forced to toss around promises like they didn’t mean anything.

Parent’s reaction

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She was also worried about what her parents would think about the vows. She felt they would not be comfortable with her saying them either.

Big fallout

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After all the problems, Alex was upset and would not speak to her. He’s also furious with his family for their reaction.

Was she in the right?

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The woman didn’t realize her objections to the vows would cause such a stir. She asked an online forum if she was right to want to change the wording.

The internet responded

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One poster said, “From what you’ve told us so far, it seems that by marrying into this family, you and your future children will be expected to be Catholic. This isn’t something that is going to be limited to the wedding ceremony.”

While another responded, “You just learned something important about how your potential future husband will handle conflicts with his family. And how he will handle religion. And how his family will approach religion in your life.”

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