She Was Traumatized by Her Son’s Difficult Birth and Wanted to Keep His First Birthday Low-Key, but When Her Parents Wouldn’t Listen, She Extended Her Family Vacation

A woman recently went online to ask if she’d been right to “deny” her parents and extended family the chance to celebrate her son’s first birthday. Here’s what she had to say.

It was a difficult birth

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“My son’s first birthday is in a couple of months,” the woman began. “He was born very early and spent the first couple of months in the NICU.”

They were all traumatized

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“To say it was traumatic is a bit of an understatement. There were times my partner didn’t know if he would get to bring me or our son home.”

It all happened so fast

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The woman explained that the birth had happened very quickly. She’d gone for a routine check-up and ended up being given an emergency c-section.

She was reliving it

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The closer her son’s birthday was getting, the more the woman was being reminded of the trauma surrounding his birth.

They wanted to party

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The woman’s side of the family wanted to throw a big celebration for her son’s birthday, particularly as circumstances meant that they hadn’t been able to properly celebrate his birth.

She wanted to keep it quiet

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However, the woman and her husband had repeatedly told her family members that they weren’t planning on doing anything.

They’d booked a break

The Trailer Is Over-the-top
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Around the time her son was born, the woman’s partner had booked all three of them a few days away, just before their son’s first birthday. It was booked so far away because he figured their son would be off his home oxygen by then, which he was.

Her family wanted to celebrate

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Yet despite her constant reminders, the woman’s family was expecting a big get-together. To ensure it couldn’t happen, the woman and her partner extended their holiday until after their son’s birthday.

Her mom accused her

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The woman revealed that her family was furious with them. Her mother had accused her of being selfish and had even said that she hadn’t raised her daughter to be so “horrible” to her own grandparents, who might not live to see their great-grandson’s second birthday.

She asked the internet

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The woman and her partner were seeking therapy for birth trauma, but she wanted to know if she had indeed been selfish and horrible. She asked the internet for their thoughts.

The internet responded

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The internet supported the woman’s decision. “Birthday parties for one-year-olds are not for the kids; they are for the attendees,” said one. “No kid remembers who was at that first birthday party. So you do what you need to do as a family, and if that’s just a low-key vacation, go for it.”

“Even without the trauma, extended family has no right to dictate how (or even whether) a child’s birthday is celebrated,” agreed another. “It’s not their child. Period.”

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