Their Mother Had Boyfriend After Boyfriend, but When They Refused to Let Her Bring Her Partner of Six Years to Their Wedding, She Burst into Tears 

A non-binary person recently asked if they were being too harsh on their mother by refusing to allow her “new” boyfriend of six years to attend their wedding. Here’s their story.

They’re not close

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“I am not close with my mother at all,” the 33-year-old non-binary individual began. “She divorced my dad when I was seven and almost immediately married my stepfather, whom, despite everything, I was close with.”

The divorce affected them

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“They remained married until I was 16. I was upset when she divorced him and went to live with my dad and stepmom.”

They’d liked their stepdad

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The person explained that they’d remained close to their stepdad and had even been there when he married his new wife. They were also close to their dad and stepmother.

But that ended in divorce too

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After her second divorce, the person’s mom was in and out of relationships, claiming every time that she’d met “the one.”

Their mom was fickle

cigarettes
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The person also said that their mom would end relationships over petty things—she’d divorced their dad because he told her there wasn’t enough money for her to buy a new car.

She had no boundaries

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The longest relationship the person had known their mom to have was six years, and they believed that was her current partner. She would often cry to the person about her relationship trouble and would involve her latest partner in whatever she and the person were doing.

They implemented some

The Pursuit of Personal Growth and Progress
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The person had been to therapy when they were 25, and as a result, they had set some boundaries with their mother. She wasn’t allowed to discuss her love life with them, and if she wasn’t willing to do anything with her child without a boyfriend present, then the person wasn’t interested.

They were engaged

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The person was now 33 and preparing to marry their fiancé. They had invited their parents and stepparents, but their mother’s boyfriend was not invited.

Their mom tried to compromise

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Their mom had asked why, and the person replied that they didn’t know him. Their mom offered to introduce them, and they still refused. Their mom said that everyone was being allowed a plus-one but her and demanded to know why.

They made their mom cry

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The person told their mom that whoever this boyfriend was would soon be dumped anyway. At this, their mother accused their child of treating her like a sex worker and burst into tears.

What should they do?

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The person’s fiancé and sister were both urging the person to suck it up just for one day. The person wanted to defend their boundaries but also wondered if they were being too harsh. They asked the online community for their thoughts.

The internet responded

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The person’s story drew a mixed response. “You removed yourself from the drama. Stay removed,” urged one. “You do not need to give her a plus-one; you don’t owe her. She needs to respect your boundaries.”

But others weren’t convinced. “This comes across as punishment,” said one. “You seem to resent your mom for things she’s done in the past, and that’s okay. But at least be honest: your boundaries are based on behavior that’s years in the past. She’s been with this guy for six years, and you can’t meet him once because she had shorter-term boyfriends years ago? That’s a bit unreasonable to me.”

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