They Were Friends, But When She Moved In With Her 4-Year-Old Daughter and Kept Leaving to See Her Boyfriend, Her Roommate Shared Some House Rules

A woman told the story of how she recently took in her friend and her friend’s young child. She has discovered, though, that whenever her daughter is with her father, the woman will spend all of her time at her boyfriend’s, which has annoyed her.

Her friend moved in with her

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The woman lives with her three-year-old son and pet cat. A couple of months ago, her friend moved in with her, along with her own cat and her four-year-old daughter. 

She doesn’t spend much time there

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When her friend is with her child, she is usually at the woman’s house, but on the days that her daughter is with her father, the woman’s friend spends most of her time at her boyfriend’s.

She ensures the animals are taken care of

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The cats are fed by the woman’s friend before she leaves, and she makes sure that the litter is cleaned up. Apart from that, however, she is never really at the house.

It’s been going on for a while

 

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Her friend spent a month leaving the house as soon as she returned home from work. She would spend a little bit of time with the animals, but would then depart and go straight to her boyfriend’s house. On most nights, the woman’s friend doesn’t even sleep at their house.

The woman finally had enough

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“She was starting to leave when I asked her if she was going to her boyfriend’s,” she said. “She said yes, then grabbed her keys. I stopped her and said we really needed to talk about her constantly being at her boyfriend’s. She said, ‘What is there to talk about?’ I told her that I didn’t appreciate her going there almost every day.”

She tried to establish boundaries

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The woman emphasized to her friend that there would need to be some rules if she was going to keep living there. In response, her friend explained that she only goes there on the nights that she doesn’t have her child with her. She would have invited him to the house, but she was being courteous to the woman and her own son.

This had not been discussed before

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Her friend continued, noting that, usually, she ends up staying the night as she does not want to return when it is very late. She then asked the woman if the issue was her leaving her cat there some days, noting that this had not been a problem when they were establishing house rules.

It became an argument

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The woman explained that her issue was not about the cat but about the fact that she is never at the house, even though she lives there.

Was she right?

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Her friend told her that she did not understand what the issue was before walking away from her. Now, the woman is wondering whether she was wrong to pick an argument with her friend.

The internet responded

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One person noted, “How does it hurt you if she’s not there? She’s taking care of all of her responsibilities.”

Another commenter said, “It’s definitely not a boundary; this is one of those times where people use the word ‘boundary,’ when it’s really about control.”

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