Keep the Romance Alive: 24 Things Every Married Couple Should Do

Marriage has the potential to be a beautiful and rewarding partnership, but it can also present challenges that are not always straightforward to navigate. A recent internet poll asked, “Married women, what are the unspoken rules for a successful marriage?” and here are their top 25 answers.

Pick Your Battles

Pick Your Battles
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“I hate having to pick my battles because I’m big on principles. But the mature side of me has to constantly ask myself if it’s really worth it.”

“I boil it down to respect. Did something he do make disrespect or hurt me? Then I’ll fight to the end, but if it’s something that just bothers me, I will tell him how I feel; we don’t have to argue about it; I just have to get it off my chest.”

Be Grateful

Be Grateful
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“I’m really big on thankyous. Even for tasks I feel are necessary. It feels good to be thanked, and it reminds them that I care about the effort they made.”

“If it’s noticed and appreciated, then why not say it?”

“I like making dinner, but it definitely feels nice to have gratitude and compliments.”

Marriage Is A Partnership Of Equals

Marriage Is A Partnership Of Equals
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“Marriage is a partnership, not a co-dependency-ship.”

“Your partner should never feel like an antagonist. They are your collaborator and equal.”

“You should never feel like an empty bucket, just as your partner shouldn’t. You should both contribute to doing things for each other.”

No-one Is Perfect

No-one Is Perfect
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“Understand that some things are just going to be the price of admission, and accept the person you married.”

“To be married successfully, you need to accept that you ARE going to have the same arguments and annoyances with this person for the rest of your life.”

Don’t Assume You Can Change Them

Don_t Assume You Can Change Them
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“It all starts with the quality of the man that you pick in the first place. Believe men when they show you who they are.”

“Too many people try to change their partner or expect them to magically mature after marriage. People aren’t projects – find someone who fundamentally already is the person you want to be with.”

Check You Are Arguing Over Something REAL

Check You Are Arguing Over Something REAL
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“Something I just learned after 25 years is ‘Tell me what you think I said.’ So many fights were because he heard something other than what I said. Hearing is NOT listening.”

“This one is SO TRUE. Also, just taking an objective step back from an argument and asking, “can you tell me what you’re upset about”instead of just assuming.”

Don’t Be Overly Critical

Don_t Be Overly Critical
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“Nobody likes being criticized or made to feel like a failure. When I wanted him to do something, I learned to phrase it differently.”

“He doesn’t like being told what he did wrong, and I don’t enjoy telling my husband that because it makes me feel like I’m mothering him.”

Respect Each Other

Respect Each Other
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“Remember that your spouse is a capable adult and give them respect as such. Respecting that your husband is a good problem solver allows you to trust him to solve it.”

“Instead of telling my husband what to do, I let him come up with the solution. We respect each other’s input, but no one is the boss.”

Be True Friends First

Be True Friends First
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“It’s easy to be married to a best friend; that never goes away. Lust goes away pretty fast.”

“I totally agree with marrying your best friend; we’ve been together 20 years.”

“I’ve been married 11 years, and what has kept us together is being best friends.”

Don’t Stop Making An Effort

Don_t Stop Making An Effort
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“I’m intent on being someone he looks forward to coming home to, especially after a long hard day.”

“I always do a little squeal and jump into his arms with a smile when he walks through the door and plant a big kiss on his face. I think he really enjoys that.”

“I get off work earlier than him, so I always make sure everything is clean and tidy.”

Don’t Rush Into It

Don_t Rush Into It
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“Be together for years so you know each other well, and make sure you’re on the same page with dealbreakers. No one will change their mind on these issues, nor should they be expected to.”

“I think it’s better to wait; some people are really good at hiding their worst traits.”

Don’t Be Their Mother

Don_t Be Their Mother
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“You’re his friend, lover, and partner for life. As soon as you start telling him what he can and cannot do, you become his mother.”

Don’t Marry Someone For Their Looks

Don_t Marry Someone For Their Looks
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“If your whole relationship is based on looks, sex, and romantic attraction, it’s not going to last. You’re both going to get old and ugly someday.”

“If you don’t find each other interesting as people or have a genuine fondness for them, your relationship is probably not going to last.”

Be Each Other’s Biggest Supporter

Be Each Other_s Biggest Supporter
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“We’re a team. I’m his biggest fan, and he’s mine. We support each other, and we believe if one of us succeeds, we both succeed, and if one is us falls behind, the other helps them catch up or takes the lead for a bit.”

“It’s us against the world, baby!”

Spell It Out

Spell It Out
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“They’re not a mind reader – Whatever you expect, whatever is on your mind, spell it out clearly.”

“I have to remind myself a lot that just being annoyed with my husband does not help anything, especially if he doesn’t even know what he’s done wrong.”

Make Time For Yourself

Make Time For Yourself
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“having that alone time can help you have a calm mood and sense of self.”

“You each need to have some independence and your own interests.”

Accept That There Will Be Bad Days

Accept That There Will Be Bad Days
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“Understand that love is an ebb and flow. Some days you won’t feel so in love, and that’s okay. This is normal in long-term relationships, and it soon passes with the right person.”

“Marriage is a long-term commitment; don’t let daily frustrations overshadow it. There will be plenty of bad days, but choosing your partner every time strengthens the bond.”

Learn Each Other’s Relationship Style

Learn Each Other_s Relationship Style
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“Learning about each other’s attachment styles is so important. This truly saved our marriage early on. After learning how our attachment styles affect the way we treat each other, the way we argue, and how much time we like to spend around each other, we changed how we saw each other’s behavior.”

Laugh As Much As Possible

Laugh As Much As Possible
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“Make sure you laugh. A lot. Something that reassured me in my marriage was the amount of laughter between us during lockdown. We were even able to entertain each other, and make light of a very difficult time, while locked in our house with a toddler.”

“Have something you laugh about together every day. It’s a cornerstone for us.”

Be Prepared To Work Hard

Be Prepared To Work Hard
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“COMMIT. Don’t have one foot out the door. Don’t threaten divorce. Don’t threaten to leave. Either leave or be prepared to work extra hard to make things better.”

“A successful marriage isn’t magic. It’s years of hard work.”

You Can’t Always Be Right

You Can_t Always Be Right
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“I agree that the “I told you so thing” is only okay to say when it’s something silly, but never when it’s something serious. We don’t keep score.”

“I can brag that I was right or just leave it alone. I prefer to go to bed together, happy that we had one more day with each other. I can be right, or I can be content.”

Give Each Other Space

Give Each Other Space
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“Allowing each other to decompress after work is important. I go upstairs and organize for about an hour while he plays video games.”

“I give him his space when he needs it and don’t nag him about it. I get a lot of personal time, more than he does, so I respect his time when he needs it.”

It’s Okay To Have Different Roles

It_s Okay To Have Different Roles
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“Sometimes you have to accept that you are going to handle the bulk of something, and sometimes you have to give up control. I have the mental load in my marriage because my husband can’t do it, but if I ask him to handle something specific, he will get it done.”

Don’t Give Up On Romance

Don_t Give Up On Romance
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“Never stop dating. Epic romances do not only happen in movies. Let yours become one.”

“Don’t stop dating one another; romance and intimacy should never be put on the back burner. My husband is my best friend of 30yrs, he’s also my lover, and that matters so much. Love, lust, and romance is a winning combination.”

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Source: Reddit