18 Unmissable Traits of People Who Always Put Themselves First

It’s a fact that some people are overly selfish, putting their own needs above those of everyone else. Someone recently asked, “What is a telltale sign that someone is a selfish person?” Below are the top 18 answers.

When they downplay your problems 

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When anything that happens to them is the worst thing in the world and whatever happens to you is not that bad and a waste of time talking about or dealing with.”

“Even worse when they self-identify as an ‘empath,’ meaning you can’t ever be in a bad mood around them because then they need to cut you off for ‘surrounding them with negativity and toxicity.’”

They refuse to take responsibility for their actions

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Someone who never apologizes.”

“Or blame all their problems on other people and circumstances.”

They don’t do their fair share of work

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“Complaining at work to coworkers doing your work for you while you complain.”

“Also, oversharing at work. I do not want to know your entire life, Janet.”

If they want to dig up your dead dog

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“When they want to dig up your dead dog to use the skull for taxidermy purposes and are insistent on doing it despite your objections.”

When conversations are one-sided

The _Why Are You So Quiet_ Question When It_s Them Who Can_t Listen When I Try To Speak
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Conversations don’t feel like conversations. They are one-sided talks about what they want, their thoughts, their life, their priorities, etc.”

They talk AT you rather than TO you.”

They are always the victim

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“I feel that 99% of the time, they only place themselves in the victim seat by ignoring all the effort or cost other people have to endure and only focus on what they go through themselves.”

“ Everything they consider a small transgression is turned into a public display of how bad you are and how horrible their life is. But anything they do wrong to you is the result of some horrible thing they can’t control.”

If they don’t return the shopping cart

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This is my favorite armchair measure of a good person. There is absolutely no benefit to you as the trolley returner, but there is a loss to others if you don’t.”

“It is a small thing, but true. My wife didn’t do it when we met, but I think I rubbed off on her, and she does it now. Another weird one is when you decide you don’t want an item you’ve picked up in the store, do you walk it back to where you got it or just drop it anywhere random?”

They are rude to others

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They’re rude to waitstaff or just staff and employees in general.”

“Waitstaff typically can’t bite back when someone’s being rude. Seeing how someone behaves when there’s almost zero possibility of them being held accountable for said behavior is a pretty good window into their psyche.”

If they listen to their phone loudly in public

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For me, it’s people who listen to loud tik tok in public. Especially in relatively silent places.”

“There is a guy that hangs out in my favorite bar. Doesn’t talk much and stays to himself, but he sits for hours watching videos on his phone with the volume on. It’s the most obnoxious thing ever.”

when they take other people’s stuff

FreeCycle for Free Stuff
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So glad I don’t have this kind of office. I never understood lunch stealers. I would be fuming. Even for a drink… like, you know that’s not yours.”

“A LOT of people have this mentality. When they are slighted or stolen from, they have no recourse, so they silently take it, hold the grudge and then do it to others.”

They only message you when they need something

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They only message you when they need a favor.”

“Another thing is that every favor done for you needs to be paid back, and you will never hear the end of it if you don’t, and it always needs to be equal or greater, or they will complain.”

If they act like their kids owe them 

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“People who have kids on purpose, and then act like their kids owe them (well above and beyond basic kindness and human respect) for the rest of their lives.”

“My mom!”

They change the subject (but don’t have ADHD etc.)

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When you have a conversation about something in your life, finish what you have to say, then the other person says nothing about that and completely changes the subject.”

“I know someone who does this (she is selfish and an old friend, although not always a good one), and I can’t help but straight guffaw every time she does it.”

They are an obnoxious housemate

People Who Expect Forgiveness Based On Intention
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When they go out clubbing and bring their friends back to continue the party at 2 am, but live in a houseshare and have roommates that have to go to work in the morning.”

“Your roommate sucks and should feel bad.”

If they never give compliments or praise

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My cousin, when I cook food, she won’t just say normal stuff like ‘thank you for the food, it’s really good.’ Instead, she says, ‘Is it bad I actually like this food? Is it bad I am craving that pasta you made?’”

“Geez, that’s rude. Glad she’s getting a little better at least, but I can see what you mean about her being selfish.”

They choose their own convenience at the inconvenience of others

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Double parking, showing up late, phone on speaker in public, choosing the shorter right lane but not turning right, making everyone else behind them wait at the red light, taking forever at a long lined ATM or public restroom, holding up a public place to take multiple selfies…”

If they seek attention or sympathy for other people’s tragedies

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People who sponge off someone else’s tragedy to try and gain sympathy or attention for themselves.”

They don’t refill the ice tray 

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They don’t refill the ice tray in the freezer when they use the last of the ice. Massive red flag.”

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