“You’re Married to A Rich American and So I Don’t Have to Pay You Back”: Man Refuses to Lend His Brother-In-Law Money Because He Doesn’t Think He’ll Ever Get It Back

A man recently said no when his wife asked him to give a lot of money to her brother to buy a house in China. The man had received a huge work bonus but he’s got major concerns about lending the money.

His wife wants a big loan

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“I was asked by my wife about the bonus I recently received from work this year. When I told her about what I got, she asked me if I could loan her $10k. Since she’s never asked me for something like this before, I asked what it was for.

It’s for her brother overseas

Brutal Honesty
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She said it was to ‘help’ her brother buy a house, and she would give him the loan, and she would pay me back in monthly installments of $1k.” Her brother lived abroad, in China, and wanted to buy a home in that country. His sister wanted to help him out.

The man has concerns

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The man had several questions about this arrangement, including whether it was a gift, how the money would be sent, when the house would be purchased, and when the brother would repay the loan.

She told him it was fine

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The wife assured him it wasn’t a gift and that her brother would pay him back eventually, but no clear timeline was given. The husband said, “I was really concerned that her brother might not pay her back, and I told her as much.

He still has doubts

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My big concern is that he’ll pull a “you’re married to a rich American, and so I don’t have to pay you back” line on her. There’s no real recourse if he doesn’t, and I don’t think that they’re really that close.”

He’d be taking a risk

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He was especially concerned since they live in different countries, and he had been burned by lending money to friends and family in the past. The couple currently share bills, with the husband paying about 75% of everything since he earns more.

His wife is unhappy

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After expressing his concerns, his wife decided not to loan her brother the money. She told her husband she could no longer rely on him for financial aid. She is now upset and not talking to him, refusing to even discuss the matter any further.

It’ll come up again

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He added, “My wife and I will probably revisit the finance thing at some point, but I’ve always been completely transparent with her about everything; she’s seen all my account balances, and we have a monthly spreadsheet we use to track expenses.”

He’s wondering if he’s in the wrong

No Future Plans
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However, he also thought that he was right to refuse because it’s generally considered a bad idea to loan money to family members, and there’s no recourse if the loan isn’t repaid. In addition, the housing market in China is reportedly unstable.

He asked the internet for advice

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One user wrote, “If she’s so confident that he will pay her back, she can loan him the money. Or at least she can loan him half of it. She’s asking you to take all the risk with absolutely no return on it. You have nothing to guarantee he wouldn’t just take the money and not pay you back. I wouldn’t do it either. NTA.”

A second responded, “NTA. This would likely open the floodgate for requests from other family members in China who learn that there is a $10k loan available if they ask your wife. Is she ready to be tough with the next person who asks? I generally will only lend money if I am 100% okay with not getting it back. Are you 100% okay with not getting this money back?”

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Source: Reddit